i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
