You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Randomize
