Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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