how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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