I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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