Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I want a musical about memes.
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