You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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