Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
We're not piercing ourselves today.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
