It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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