i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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