He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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