is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
