do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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