Don't make out with my wife yet
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
