I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
