Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
