She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
