He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
