Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Randomize
