Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Ketchup is God's man juice
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
