I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
