i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
