i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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