He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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