Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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