do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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