do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Even my vagina gasped.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
