two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
