I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
