I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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