I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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