So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Send help, water and tortillas.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
