I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Randomize
