I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
