im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
