You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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