I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
