Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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