i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
