I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
