It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
