he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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