I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
