I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
