Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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