My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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