Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
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