I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
