My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
