No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
